Dear Maxine,
I see you. I see how you've come into the world, here to serve, here to help and yet so much controversy has happened around you.
I've tried really hard to not let other people's opinions of you get in the way of deciding to befriend you. I think it's still taking me time to adjust and settle. But I'm so glad I turned off the news, I set boundaries with those I love who wanted to push me to get to know you sooner.
It's been challenging, but I realised I've come up against this before. A part I didn't want to see, didn't want to accept that was in my reality. I had to look, dig deep and get to know what your message was, what you truly were here for. And mostly, I didn't want to decide to know you from a place of fear. Cos I don't want fear riddled through my body, I've spent too many years with it coursing through me ever so dominant and unhealthily, I want peace and for my nervous system to receive and open to love, however that looks.
But it's not just me and my body at the moment, for the first time in my life I'm carrying another soul inside me. So my responsibility felt even greater of energetically who and what to let in. I had to check in with them, time and time again, we weren't ready. The answer was no.
It's the same when I see people initially meet their inner voices, there can be a no and the relationship has to build gently, slowly with time. You can't force it.
I'm so glad I waited for bub to reach a milestone in its development and growth. Deep in my core, I want this baby to feel safe and held and protected. And if that's what you're here in this current climate to do, then I appreciate you being here. I'm no longer interested in drama (unless it's on the stage, then I frikken love it) or trying to prove anything to anyone. I fear less what others will think of me and know that at the end of the day I can tune into what's true. I also know each day truth and perception can shift and change. Truth only lies in the present moment.
It's taken me 33 years to learn to navigate how to come back and know what my true voice looks, sounds and feels like.
And I feel like being on the journey to becoming a mother is solidifying that even more. I've heard it over the years 'a mothers intuition is so powerful'
I've felt it come through when I get a sense about the dogs and then I'll turn around and they'll have something in their mouth that's not good for them. But it's getting stronger needing to make decisions in the lead up to birthing this soul into our world.
It'll take more time for us to integrate, I know that...but for now, just for this day, thank you for being here, resisting you has caused a lot of anxiety and I'm pleased to have met you and chosen you from a place of love, not fear.
Love Tali